This Weeks Mood Board is concentrated on Self Love.
In 1956 psychologist and social philosopher Erich Fromm proposed that loving oneself is different from being arrogant, conceited or egocentric. He proposed that loving oneself means caring about oneself, taking responsibility for oneself, respecting oneself, and knowing oneself (e.g. being realistic and honest about one’s strengths and weaknesses). He proposed, further, that in order to be able to truly love another person, a person needs first to love oneself in this way.
I encourage this in everyone, and it’s something I’ve been working on inherently for a long time. I was tired of waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. I’d get my dream job or my dream relationship or get into my dream school and still happiness eluded me. I’d have more money than I knew what to do with and still, happiness wouldn’t come.
Without Self-Love, we are half-loving. I realized that much of the way that I viewed myself, and the world around me, was a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into me by the company that I have kept. Once you do this, you begin to sift through all the crap you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, how you should raise your children or what you owe your parents, and you start recognizing that all of these decisions are completely up to you, and that anyone who does not support them belongs in someone else’s life.
You learn to open up to new ideas and different points of view and you begin redefining who you are and what you stand for. You learn the difference between want and need, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, and start to get comfortably in the process of going with your instincts. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn to look at your relationships differently: as they are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, you also must grow and change and adapt – much like exercise, the workout does not stop once you’ve achieved the perfect body. That body is only the beginning.
And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely.
One of my favorite quotes about distinguishing who should be in your life is this:
You Can Feed 1,000 People, But You Can’t Carry 3 People On Your Back
You will be kinder to others, and they will follow suit. In this way, you attract the kind of people who want a Self-Loving person in their life, and you create pathways & journeys with incredible individuals who truly understand you.
If this is not already a daily practice in your life (and even if it is!) I wish you all the luck.
Thank you very much.
Love & Light